I love how you repeated the "you taught me the true meaning" parts and then expanded on each thing. Very creative concept, and very excellently executed, I must say. I love the repetition you used because it lends form to the poem without restricting it... This is writing that breathes.

One thing -
"up and down,
forth and back
like toy"
Did you mean like a toy?

This is so very lovely. My favorite parts are the descriptions of "love" and "worry," but I love the poem in its entirety.


--
blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly...
my gallery

"spending many sleepless nights
in the window-still, gazing at the silent stars
wishing and wishing and

watching them
fall in
the process"

Those two stanzas there are amazing
They are really emotive, I feel them in my own heart and they also give off some lovely melancholic imagery.
But there's a small typo in there I thought I'd tell you about:
"Window-still" should be "window-sill" - you accidentally put a 't' in there.

"threw away
the empty
wrapping"

Those three little lines also give off a tonne of emotion and the metaphor is just so original and I love it.
Well done with that one, wish I had thought of it myself.

The last little stanza at the end ties it together really well.
So overall this piece is pretty damn good

--
.. Aedammair-Feline ..

I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name....

Rip your heart out at =RawEm0tion

Concept is awesome, and I love how you ended it.

--
The world is not beautiful; therefore it is. ~ Kino no Tabi

~ShortStackStories
~Amaranth-Portal
=RawEm0tion

thanks a lot ^^

--
<sub>so stand on the edge with me, hold back your fears and see;
nothing is real till it's gone

hold on before it's too late, we'll run till we leave this behind
dont fall, just be who you are - its all that we need in our lives</sub>

thank you very much, I'm glad you like it so much ^^

ahh, yes you're right, I make typos too much..

--
<sub>so stand on the edge with me, hold back your fears and see;
nothing is real till it's gone

hold on before it's too late, we'll run till we leave this behind
dont fall, just be who you are - its all that we need in our lives</sub>

thank you, they're based on reality,
my window-sill has become my favourite hide-out during all this.
ahh, I didn't see that one, I make typos too much...

thanks so much again, I'm honored

--
<sub>so stand on the edge with me, hold back your fears and see;
nothing is real till it's gone

hold on before it's too late, we'll run till we leave this behind
dont fall, just be who you are - its all that we need in our lives</sub>

You're very welcome

--
.. Aedammair-Feline ..

I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name....

Rip your heart out at =RawEm0tion

--
Writers Block is my Arch Nemesis. It is Evil, and must be Destroyed.
　 ／l、
ﾞ（ﾟ､ ｡ ７ Kitteh!
　l、ﾞ ~ヽ
　じしf_, )ノ

--
<sub>so stand on the edge with me, hold back your fears and see;
nothing is real till it's gone

hold on before it's too late, we'll run till we leave this behind
dont fall, just be who you are - its all that we need in our lives</sub>